Every once in a while, this blog takes on more of a "venting session" feel instead of an update on what the kids are up to, etc.
This will be one of those blogs.
And to be honest, besides my mother-in-law, who is my most "regular costumer" by far, I don't really know who is reading this, but I just have the urge to vent...and I take comfort knowing I'm not alone and there are other moms reading this who can maybe relate.
So a few months back, a good friend of mine wrote on her blog that she was annoyed by some of the blogs she was reading that was all "my life is perfect, my kids are perfect...no worries at all...etc." (okay, she did a MUCH better job describing this). I was all in support of her, then I was looking back on my posts and I thought....wait, my blog kind of fits into that category. I don't blog every moment...it's mostly a way for me to update our out of state and out of country family and friends on what we're doing here in Orlando...but I do leave a lot out. Good and bad.
Like this week...I feel like I've been a really good mom to Katelyn...getting her ready and organized for her new school, helping her through her first bullying situation at our gym's childcare...and she's been excellent....for the most part, her behavior has been the best it's ever been (oh, that makes life so much easier).
But, I feel like I've been a bad mom to Brady. He has fallen and hurt himself right in front of me twice this week...both times leaving marks, bruises, and cuts. He is very small and is behind developmentally...13 months and not taken a step...he was saying a few words last month, but has totally stopped now and I feel like he's regressing rather than progressing and it makes me very, very nervous. He is cute as can be and is very affectionate, but I see other babies his age and younger saying and doing soooo much more. Our pediatrician is not worried and said that he is a very content baby and the more content the baby, the later the walker, etc. I bought it last month, this month I don't and I can't help but blame myself...I carry him too much, etc. Do you ever get to the point where you can mother both kids equally well??? I feel like my mom did and still does and she had 4 kids...I only have 2. Ughh! Share the secret if you know it!!
4 comments:
Thank you, Thank you! I am indeed your most avid fan! You can vent or praise or just post jokes if that is what you feel like. I will eat it up! I am family information starved up here!
One of the ladies I work with brought in a magazine article for me to read about grandparenting long distance. For the most part it is spot on. I have saved it by your bedside table so maybe you can better understand my hysteria up here :)
I think that no matter how many kids you have, you feel like a great mom sometimes and a bad mom sometimes. Moms with one kid feel like it should be easy all the time because they only have one. Moms with more than one feel like they should be experts because they've done it before. Fact is that every group size of children comes with its own challenges. Only children look really easy on the outside but they have a whole entire set of challenges such as: tending to be more spoiled, being more scared of things because they don't have a sibling to lean on or egg them on, demanding attention at all times, etc. etc.
Two children and more demand more of your time in different ways as you know.
Most important of all, everyone feels like someone else is doing a better job and worrying about whether you are doing a good job is exactly what makes you a good mother.
I totally understand where you're coming from and I only have ONE Ryan here at home. I fretted over EVERYTHING in his first year. I look back at how much I missed now and it saddens me. I try to take each day as it comes now and know I am doing the best that I know how to do for him and that's all that matters.
I finally had to come to grips with that. What I do for my kid is OK and if others don't do what I do, that is OK too. I actually have gotten a few compliments on some of my routines with Ryan that I thought were no big deal at all. It's just stuff I do every day.
You are a WONDERFUL mother to both K & B. I am so blessed to know you and am so glad we've become good friends. B will get there in his own time. I totally understand your feelings though. I didn't think Ryan would EVER crawl or pull up. He was the last in his group to do it at almost 10 months crawling and 10 1/2 months when he pulled up. He wasn't cruising furniture until almost 11 mos. He had buddies that had been cruising since 7-8 mos! Its so hard not to compare your kids with others. I don't know why we moms do that. I guess we just want what's best for our little ones.
You're a wonderful friend and I consider you my best friend now. K & B are blessed to have such a great mom. Vent all you need to. Heaven knows you've listened to me enough. I am always here for you.
First of all let me say, you do a great job on your blog telling it all. I don't think you are a "pie in the sky" blogger at all. ;)
Second...Isaac was indeed a "content baby" cause he didn't walk till the end of 14 months. And he was HUGE so my back was KILLIN' me. Brady is NOT behind. He is the sweetest smiley-est baby I have ever seen!
We all struggle with being a "bad mom" every now and then. If someone says they don't...they are lying! :) It's normal. And we are not perfect! I feel like I have neglected my kids and used the TV as the mommy all summer. I gotta kick the habit! But I will correct my bad habits and they won't remember. :) But they will remember they LOVE the movie Cars and know each line for some reason. (maybe cause they watched it 9000 times a day!) ha.
Carol, you're the best. You are a great mama. Your kids show it!
mel
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